I'm sick of the story that goes, "oh, I used to be in such great shape, and well, ya know, LIFE happened!" I get it. LIFE happens. But let's unpack LIFE like a bag of delicious maple bacon kettle chips. If you haven't tried these, you're missing what truth tastes like and oh they're vegan for all you Californians who are reading this. I digress, the sweet smell of bacon makes me do that. LIFE. Life for me these past few months have looked like the occasional delicious croissant or two, late night take out thai or ramen, dinner outings in the bounty of good eats known as NYC, homemade meats prepared to perfection by my very skilled in the kitchen boyfriend... I am living the food dream folks! I am eating WELL. So well, my NON-skinny jeans are working overtime to accommodate my stomach, ass and thighs. I was really bummed the other day when I saw the threads in the seam of my inner pant leg opening up into a hole. "Dammit" I thought, "I just got you three months ago." And the next thought was, "oh, it's just water weight." The past is so blurry. Intensity has come over my face like Olivia Benson in SVU. Time to figure out what feels like the inner workings of a fat hijacking. Since this isn't possible, I have a few inklings where the weight came from:
- Stress
- Denial
- Slow metabolism
Oh if only I could watch them played out in a Pixar animated feature film. Why not? I'll cast this as if it is one. Stress will be played by Julia Louis Dreyfus, Denial will be played by Kathryn Hahn and Slow metabolism will be a voiceover by Roseanne Barr. If you haven't seen the movie, then this all means nothing. Please go see it, and then come back. No, it's okay. Go.
According to The American Psychological Association stress levels of New York City residents are higher than the rest of the country. No shit! Comforting to know I am not the only one freaking out about money and work life out here.
Denial in thinking I can eat anything and maintain the weight that keeps me comfortable in those skinny jeans... what am I Sarah Jessica Parker?
Slow metabolism because yes, I have one. It's slower than the elevator of that goddamn 60 year old building I was in in the upper east side today. Gawd, that took forever.
So what am I doing to change this story? I don't ever want to hear myself say regarding my weight, "life just happened." NO! I am going to affect my LIFE and it's happening in high definition thanks to asserting myself in a recent casting call for participants needing to get back into shape for a 9 week beta fitness program (which I am very excited to share more on when I legally can) where I'll be working out 30 minutes 5 times a day. I will be asked to share my journey with thousands of viewers. There is NO going back. People are relying on me. I am showing up, and... I am sore as hell today. I know I will be, A LOT, in the weeks and months ahead, but in order to affect my life I gotta go BIG...under the lights, in front of the cameras, for all the world to see. Go figure. I am an actor after all.